What to do when you're stuck? Let's talk about somatic parts work.
When you get this, I'll be in a campervan wandering around Idaho or Wyoming - not sure which but that's the beauty of the campervan - and it's also the beauty of scheduling technology!!! We've got 2 weeks without children and nature is calling. For years, almost all of our family vacations took place in a campervan. Then our kids started high school, committed to tons of fantastic things, developed plans of their own, and camping took a back seat. I've missed it so much! Jumping in the van was the obvious move this week :-)
And it will definitely give me more space to practice what I preach. Spending time in nature is the absolute best way for me to get out of my head and into my body. On that note, how did last week's deep listening practices go? Did you have a minute to check in and respond to the needs of your body?
I did, and one of the things I noticed was a difference in sensation (both physical and emotional) between the front and the back of my heart. The back felt open and receptive and the front felt guarded and tense. That awareness led to a deeper inquiry that was really insightful.
This inquiry is where somatic parts work comes in!
There are lots of ways to be in conversation with ourselves. And it's important to remember that we often have competing views. One part of us is ready to jump in head first and the other digs in their heels. In my case, one part wanted to connect and the other wanted to retreat. And by noticing that, I was able to drop into a kind of conversation with those parts of myself, gain insight and respond intelligently.
These moments of seeing different preferences in ourselves allows us to address both what we want and what we're afraid of more directly. There are probably a number of things you want, and yet, you don't go after them. Maybe you've been wanting to reach out to an old friend. One part of you misses them and sends imagined texts to them regularly. The other part overrides the impulse - comes up with reasons to do it later and then later never comes. That second part may be feeling nervous that it's been too long and the friend isn't interested in connecting anymore. Or maybe the last conversation didn't go well and they're afraid they'll get rejected.
Remember that your nervous system spends all of its time trying to keep you safe and that text may be registering as a threat in some way. But once you actually realize what's happening, you can tend to the scared part. You can encourage that part to express its needs. And when you listen to those scared parts of yourself with curiosity instead of judgement, everything changes. You stop feeling at odds with yourself and start trusting yourself more.
Somatic parts work 101
We acknowledge that we each have different aspects (or parts) of ourselves. Each hold different experiences, preferences, memories, opinions, fears, and motivations, and each one of those parts is just trying to get their needs met.
We often hold these aspects in different parts of our bodies (think The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk).
Bringing attention to these different body parts, either in stillness or while exploring different shapes or yoga poses can be incredibly illuminating.
We simply notice the sensations, thoughts, images and emotions that arise and then explore those threads.
By paying attention, we get to know ourselves better and we begin to work in collaboration versus conflict.
If you'd like some support moving through a very basic parts work meditation, click the video below and I'll guide you through a brief experience.
The takeaway here is that humans are multi-faceted. We are led by our feet and our heads and all of the parts in between. And developing the skill of listening to and communicating with all of our multi-faceted selves is a nuanced practice that leads to self-discovery, self-compassion and self-agency.
Sometimes we need a little support, navigating our parts. Yoga therapy is a great place to begin. If I can help, don’t hesitate to reach out.
If you'd like a taster, the parts practice below will guide you through a gentle conversation with two different parts of yourself.
Stay tuned for more of the 5 pillars. Next up, deep imagery!
Thanks for reading, watching and being a part of this community. I hope our paths cross soon.
Ways to work with me...
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