Get out of you head and into your body!
How are you? I am having a very different kind of summer. With one daughter doing an internship in Spain, and another working and playing all day, I have been left to my own devices. And it's given me a different kind of spaciousness. I've been squandering some of it - which is awesome 😀 and also taking advantage of the space to write and film more.
Last week, I shared a 3-step process to help you up your self-compassion and this week I want to talk about what I often refer to as deep-listening.
I intend to spend the summer writing about the ways that yoga therapy can support nervous system regulation and somatic healing and I'm using the lens of my 5 pillar yoga therapy framework to guide both our bodies and our minds. Each newsletter will come with a video to help you explore and practice one of the pillars.
I'll be honest, I struggle with consistency in my writing so stating this intention out loud is a simple way for me to commit and stay accountable - your reading and watching holds me to it so thank you!
Back to deep listening... While I may be a somatic practitioner, I can also be pretty heady. And as many of you know, I love a good framework! These systems give me a lens to see myself through and a way to find insight through that reflection.
The third pillar of my framework is deep-listening - the place where nervous system regulation and somatic healing begin.
This particular kind of listening is not about hearing thoughts. It's about listening to the body. Our bodies are absolutely full of incredible important information but we are often to preoccupied with our thoughts to hear the messages. In other words, you can't heal what you can't hear.
Listening starts by getting out of the head. It's about taking in the whole picture - noticing what's happening in your body and offering the appropriate response. It's about about paying attention to internal sensations and acknowledging where there is tension, discomfort, hunger, and depletion. It's about noticing where there is a need and then responding to it.
Your nervous system wants to find equilibrium. It is non-stop, picking up the vibe in the room. First by paying attention to the basics - food, water, shelter or sleep - and then by noticing whether you feel safe and connected. These are the ingredients that lead to regulation, to feeling grounded, to feeling okay.
And this requires that we pay attention and listen to our bodies. Because again, we can't respond to what we can't hear!
This is the starting place. As simple as it may sound, if these basic needs are met, we feel more comfortable, more competent, and more able to handle the challenges - sometimes we're even excited about them!
Consider how often you've felt overwhelmed by a project, then eaten lunch and felt much better about your capacity to navigate it. Or felt really upset about a conflict with a friend and after a good night's sleep, felt less hurt or less misunderstood. This is not because you were overreacting. It's because your basic needs weren't being met, so you were dysregulated and unable to see the big picture. Your vision was simply clouded by hunger or depletion.
Let's be honest, humans are so pretty strange! We skip meals, we forget to go to the bathroom, we don't get enough rest, we work crazy hours. And we act like these actions are signs of strength. We walk around like heads without bodies. And all the while, our sweet bodies are being dragged along for the ride - trying to send us signs, subtle at first, like a whisper from the tummy or a request to sit down for a moment. And then a not so subtle, deeper belly growl or a giant unstoppable yawn. And pretty soon, we are angry or sad, overreacting or checking out. We imagine that we're frustrated because of something someone said when often times, it really is because we're not attending to our basic needs so our vision has narrowed. We're simply dysregulated.
Nervous system dysregulation isn't solved by listening to our thoughts and figuring something out. It begins by listening to the body.
And when we do that, often and throughout the day, we get better at taking more moments to respond to what we're hearing. Those responses are the beginnings of a relationship between the body and the mind - one that leaves the mind feeling more comfortable and more trusting of the body. The body is always here with you, waiting for you to notice and trust it - waiting for you to attend to it and care for it.
And yes, there have been times in all of our lives when the body didn't feel like a safe place to be - when we were sick or injured or hurt by someone and the pain sent us looking for refuge outside of ourselves. But truly, that feeling of threat inside of ourselves can change, one noticing and responding moment at a time. These are the moments when you have agency - when you get to decide to be with your breath, or to notice a pleasant sensation in your hands, or to settle into the taste of something delicious, or the smell of a huge flowering tree on an evening walk.
These moments are the building blocks that bring us back home to our bodies - that bring us back to a place inside of ourselves that feels safe and connected.
As I mentioned, this summer, I’ll be sending weekly thoughts, tools and videos that explore my 5 pillar yoga therapy framework; nervous system regulation, self compassion, deep listening, somatic parts work, and deep imagery.
Together these pillars form a sort of recipe for a life full of curiosity, engagement and deep presence. Sometimes, we need a little support, reflecting on and shifting these things. Yoga therapy is a great place to begin. If I can support you, don’t hesitate to reach out.
Below is a video that summarizes and then offers a "noticing and responding" practice. Let's have a building block moment together!
Thanks for reading and watching and all of the things <<First Name>>! I hope our paths cross soon.
As always, I'd love to hear from you. If you feel like sharing something you noticed and responded to, hit reply!
Sending so much love,
Rachel
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