I cleaned my refrigerator to avoid writing this!
How was your week? Last week we returned to pillar #1, nervous system regulation and this week we are revisiting pillar #2, self-compassion. Again, we're not starting over, we're spiraling.
Sometimes, spiraling has a negative connotation.
It implies that we are getting farther and farther inside of ourselves in ways that can feel contracting, repetitive, and anxiety provoking.
But that's not what we're doing here. Instead, we're spiraling outward, building on what we've learned and adding more layers. And there are so many layers of self-compassion. The first one we worked with was a 3 step-process: noticing the "background track" (the thoughts that assess the situation, often times unkindly), bringing in curiosity, to create a little space from the judgement, and then cultivating self-friendliness. Have you practiced? Are you noticing any shift in the tone of your background track?
Today I'll add another layer to this:
Let's use my background track as an example. Yesterday, I tried to do some writing and nothing was flowing. First I spent a silly amount of time distracting myself. I actually cleaned out my refrigerator and sorted laundry in order to avoid writing. But what I realized when I listened more deeply was that I wasn't avoiding the sitting there with a blank page. I was avoiding having to hear the voice in my head tell me that I shouldn't be drawing a blank, that I've been at this for too long to be having a hard time, and that of all people, I should be more disciplined. After all, if I teach this stuff, how can I fall prey to it? And yet, instead of addressing that voice and exploring the 3 steps, I found other tasks to do. In thinking about that now, I realize that I wasn't listening to the track fully enough to realize I needed to bring in curiosity and self-friendliness. It was sneaky and frankly not loud enough for me to be present with it.
But now that I can hear it, I can sit with it. With some reflection, I can see that beneath those initial judgments, there was something deeper. That avoidance was coming from a part of me that diminishes what I have to share as too simple or too obvious. And in order to protect me from appearing too simple or too obvious, it tried to shut me down. And it's a pretty good technique (if you could see my beautiful refrigerator, you would be super impressed with how skilled my background track is).
But in the end, curiosity won the day. I sat with the why I was avoiding, talked to that protective part of me (remember somatic parts work), felt a genuine feeling of tenderness and compassion for that vulnerable little girl, and got back to work!
Basically, I added a more introspective layer to the 3-step process by dialing up my listening skills, deepening my curiosity enough to move to insight and then brought in an extra layer of compassion and understanding for the part of myself that was feeling that yucky "not-enough-ness" by talking to and reassuring her.
I didn't just change the tone, I changed the message.
While I'm highlighting self-compassion, I also wove in deep listening, and parts work, all three of which left me feeling more grounded and more regulated.
Are you starting to see how the pillars are always weaving together to create an internal web of support?
And the spiral continues....
Sunflower Spirals
Would you like to practice this with me? In the video below, I’ll review a bit and then offer a self-compassion practice. If you follow the timestamp, you can skip right to the practice.
This fall, I'll be offering another round of both the Somatic Immersion and the Somatic Immersion companion training (a facilitation training for wellness professionals) In both experiences we'll use discussion, meditation, breathwork, asana, and reflection to explore the spiral together.
Put your name on the waitlists and you'll be the first to know when registration opens in September!
Stay tuned for more of the 5 pillars. Next up, another layer of deep listening.
Thanks for reading, watching and being a part of this community. I hope our paths cross soon.
And as always, I'd love to hear from you. Did you find a little more understanding? I'd love to know!
Sending so much love,
Rachel
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